woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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