..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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