ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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I don't deserve a penis
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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