I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize