it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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