You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
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It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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