If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
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Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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