Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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