Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize