Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize