if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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