I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize