What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
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i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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