apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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