I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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