...so i touched it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize