I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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