So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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