my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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