Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize