"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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