Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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