Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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