ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish I only lived at night.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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