they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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