like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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