omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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