at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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