Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
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Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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