I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize