Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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