That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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