don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize