would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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