Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
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woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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