Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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