Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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