oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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