ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize