but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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