I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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