It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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