i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize