I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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