I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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