I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I am available for nakedness
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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