week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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