i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
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I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
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You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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