ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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