genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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